10 things we learned from watching Man United v Arsenal

1) Abou Diaby is a lot better at scoring goals with his head than his feet. Shame he still hasn’t worked out which end is which, mind.

2) Arsenal should employ a security guard to watch over their boot room. Hot on the slippery heels of Eduardo’s midweek tumble comes Emmanuel Eboue’s own footing malfunction. It has to be sabotage, right?

3) Then again, having seen what happens when Arsenal players do stay on their feet – Fletcher takes Arshavin’s legs away in the area, referee waves play on – is it any wonder they feel the need to make a point when falling over?

4) On the evidence of his ‘I definitely got the ball’ post-match interview, Darren Fletcher doesn’t know the difference between said spherical object and Andriy Arshavin’s ankles.

5) Manuel Almunia should stop dying his hair. Not only would he stop looking like a startled raccoon, but he might not give away needless penalties if he didn’t have… drum roll please… a rush of bleach to the head.

6) Ben Foster is almost certainly not the answer to England’s goalkeeping problem. On this showing, the poor lad couldn’t even catch swine flu.

7) Memo to Arsenal: Emmanuel Adebayor has left, so repeatedly sending crosses into the box in the last five minutes might not be the ideal solution.

8) If Manchester United do successfully defend their title – and at the moment, it looks very much like Chelsea will be the judges of that – then it will only be due to the sheer bloody-mindedness of Wayne Rooney.

9) Arsene Wenger could well be the least naturally aggressive man in the world. He didn’t so much kick that bottle in anger as politely ask if it wouldn’t mind moving out of his way.

10) That said, his ‘crucifixion’ pose after he got sent to the stands could always get him the lead role in the next revival of Jesus Christ Superstar.

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